My insides are twisted and heavy. A storm of fear and worry, a swirling tornado whose winds howl my nightmares; I could feel like this forever; nothing can be relied on; everything I love could be gone in moments.
I feel a heavy lump rise in the back of my throat. People in the world outside my head are talking to me but I can't talk back; a single word will open the floodgates of tears.
I can't live if this is how I'm going to feel forever. I can't keep going. What if nothing changes? Or worse, what if everything changes?
It's all okay.
A breath. In and out. It's all I've got. All I can rely on. Everything I can put my faith in. In, and out. I don't know how many I have, and it's okay. It's okay to pretend that the Earth will still be beneath my feet and the pieces of my heart entrusted in others will be safe. I can't live in constant fear. Because even though it might not be okay - it's okay to believe it will.
It's okay.
It's okay.
IT'S OKAY.
